CLEANWATER LINGANORE, INC. v. FREDERICK COUNTY
Court of Special Appeals, Harrell, Dec. 28, 2016,
Introductory Paragraphs- Judge Harrell continues trying to “jazz them up”

No, I’m not going to address the actual case.

Current lead-in:

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? This ancient metaphor, conceived originally as a mock example used to discredit medieval scholastic philosophy, but deployed here with non-satirical intent, is an apt segue into this opinion. Based on the parties’ positions regarding the flagship question in the present case, we imagine the answer Appellants would give to the philosophical query would be “one,” while Appellees would respond likely with “a lot more than that.”

His October opinion in Mitchell v. MVA began:
What does Petitioner, John T. Mitchell, have in common with “Seinfeld’s” Cosmo Kramer?

From June’s Kponve v. Allstate:

With somewhat greater frequency than Halley’s Comet becomes observable to the naked eye from Earth, this Court will adopt, in whole or in part (and without substantive change), an opinion of the Court of Special Appeals because we agree with its resolution of the matter and cannot improve often in any material way upon its analysis. The opinion of the Court of Special Appeals in the present case, Allstate Ins. Co. v. Kponve,
225 Md. App. 370, 124 A.3d 1147 (2015), is such a nonpareil.

(a footnote was dropped to allay concern that “[t]his is not a reference to the flat, round candies with white sugar sprinkles that many of us purchased at movie theater concession stands in our youth”)

If his next opinion begins with “a priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar…”, it may be time for a talk.

I’d like to see a panel member dissent from the introduction (or pull Justice White and join in all but the opening)